World of Tanks Blitz Highlights
by Raptor Pilot
Summary: My best/worst/funniest battles in World of Tanks Blitz. I've had over 10,000 battles so there are a lot to pick from. Also contains quotes, info on tanks, and my personal feeling before, during, and after the battles. Check my Youtube Channel for further content. My Channel name matches my Blitz name but with a space. Shiron 115.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is a collection of the best of my 5,000 fights. My game name, btw I play Blitz, is Shiron115. In this 'story' I will recount my best and worst moments. My greatest triumphs, and most embarrassing failures. Quotes from me and others. This game is some 2,000 fights ago. I was using my King Tiger. We were in the Middlesburg map.**

"Attack" I said. This is how I start off each and every fight. I show that my tactic is an all out attack. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

"Affirmative" 2 of my teammates replied. It was a tier 6-8 fight. So I was in the top tier of the fight, and I loved my Tiger 2. The only tanks that gave me real trouble were the IS3 and the T29 at some points. Some T29s had the power to puncture my armor, some did not. Unfortunately, both were in this game.

30 seconds later. BOOM!

'Well shit' was my thought. One of our 2 tier 8s just got massacred just 30 seconds in. I am now the only tier 8 left.

I went left into the town. I went all the way left. Strangely, there was no one there. I moved forwards until I poked my head out of the town. There I met an IS3.

'Of course.'

I popped him one, and he did the same, but mine hit ammo. It didn't blow up, but it didn't seem like he had a repair kit, because it stayed damaged.

I knew where the ammo for IS3 was. Far left or right side of the front. It had given me an advantage over them because my ammo was not in the front. Mine was in the sides and back of the turret. I backed up for over 2 minutes trying to get to a certain place.

I had a special spot where only my front is exposed. I popped him again and backed into it, but not before a T43 shot my side.

It is at this point I realize I'm alone vs 6 tanks for 3 more minutes. The only enemy tank destroyed was the T29.

I get into my spot when the IS3 pulls in front of me. Apparently he had reloaded, but before he could shoot, I hit him again, and this time his ammo blew up. Fortunate for me because the T43 had damaged my engine. Also fortunate was that he was so close to me, that he blocked my thin lower plate, and since he had such a low silhouette I could still shoot my gun.

"I will never surrender!" Was my battle cry to the enemy.

"Suit yourself" Was one of their replies.

3 tanks pulled in and started pounding my frontal armor. Every 3 or 4 seconds I get shot again. The remaining 2 tanks pulled up behind my spot and started shooting HE at the thin wall separating me from them, doing small amounts of damage. By small amounts I mean maybe 8-10 HP.

I fired at the T43 and puncture his armor. No modules or crew hurt, but he has seen better days. After about the 25-26 hit I decided to taunt the enemy into focusing on killing me. The base was of course wide open. I needed to get them so mad at me they won't leave.

"I AM BULLETPROOOOOF!" I yelled.

For over 90 seconds I hold my ground. Shooting any target of opportunity. All the while I hear... *PING! PLANG! PLUNK! POP!*

"I'M INVINCIBLE!" I taunted once more.

I fire at the T43 again and destroy him with only 45 seconds left. It is here that the 2 behind me think, oh crap we're running out of time.

The base begins to fill up as I keep shooting. At 65 capture points, time expires. I sigh in relief.

Final stats?

Shots fired: 23, direct hits: 22, penetrations: 21.

Shots taken: 51, penetrations: 13 (mostly the HE shells), without damage: 38.

Tanks damaged/destroyed: 5/2.

Capture points: 0

Defense points: 0

Credits received, 38,000 with about a 5,000 deduction for repairs and ammo.

I earned about 1200 XP and a Mastery Badge 2nd Class for a draw. I couldn't believe what had just happened.


	2. Fight 2

Ah I remember when I got the Rasenai Heroes medal. It was about my 3600th game. Note that I usually do not steal kills so I never get that medal.

We were in the Copperfield map. I was using my Tiger 1 named Sasha. She was of course fully upgraded and outfitted with equipment and consumables.

It was a fight between tiers 6-8. I was a bit concerned about this because Sasha was only good against higher tiers at a distance and Copperfield is not a big map.

We started and I was, if I remember correctly, third into battle. I was behind an IS3 and a T28 as I had helped the T28 get to the fight by giving him a speed boost.

By the time I got there, a T20 had been critically wounded. I had the opportunity so I took it and blew the T20 up.

My thought was, 'I hate stealing kills, but I had the opportunity and I took it. Besides, they don't seem mad. Also I bet half the people here do it every game.'

An E8 was sniping from the far side of the map and the T28 hammered him pretty good. It just took my 88 2 quick shots to blow him up. Then I saw an opportunity, and it was a good one. there was a Tiger 2 on the left of the E8s corpse, he was almost behind us and was shooting at one of our teammates. He was about 1/2 dead.

I had a beautiful broadside view and I started shooting. I hit him 4 times in a row. Then again how could I miss? The 88 L/71 is probably the most accurate gun on any tier 7 and the Tiger 2's broadside was bigger than a barn door.

It's at this spot I realize, 'I've got every kill, and we are currently tied. No. Don't think about it. You'll never get it then.'

BAM!

I take a bullet right up my tail. I turn around and there's an IS3 right there. As I head towards it he backs up behind the hill. This was his mistake.

Despite its heavy weight, the Tiger is a pretty quick tank as far as speed goes. I drove down the hill at full speed and when I came over the crest, the IS3 was sweeping its turret left and right because he had lost sight of me. I charge down at 40 kmph and fire a shell into his side, it was close to the rear and I got lucky.

He was on fire.

Fortunately, once again, he didn't have an extinguisher. As he's turning his turret and his tank, his engine and ammo become damaged in the fire. I continue circling him and fire again. At this point he's about half health. 2 more shells and he dies. About the same time, there goes the T28. I go back up the hill, and enroute, a T34/85 comes like a bat out of hell down the hill and runs right into me.

Now let's look at this. The Tiger weighs almost 60 tons and the T34/85 weighs only a bit more than half that. Yeah that didn't end well for him.

He barely did 200 damage to me.

Now I've got 5 kills and there are still 2 enemies lurking somewhere. An IS and a Pershing. We have me and the IS3 from the start.

I continue up the hill and I see the critically wounded Pershing firing at the IS3 from cover. I line up and fire once, he ends up with just 21 HP left. He starts to back away but I manage to get him just before he gets out of my sight.

Now I'm going bonkers. I'm still in decent shape and have all 6 kills thus far. I go down the steep hill and end up just right of the base. Then I get a hit on the radar. I'm still moving pretty good so I move by the large building to the right of the base. I see both IS tanks dueling. The IS has about 400 health left. I could've fired a shell and the IS3 would've finished him, but I had been waiting so long for the Rasenai medal I just said the hell with it.

The IS3 fired, and a split second later so did I for my 7th kill. I was ecstatic. I was so hopped up I didn't even look at my damage dealt of shots fired. I just took a picture of the medal.

Get this, I only got the 1st Class Badge. I was so sure I'd get the Mastery Badge Ace Tanker. I was a bit upset, but too damned happy to care.


	3. Fight 3

Never think that a battle is over until it is over. This is something I know well, and I paid off in my Porche Tiger in the large Winter map. I can't remember the name, it's some Russian name or something.

I was using my Porche Tiger and I was in the top tier. There was one other tier 7 on my team, 3 tier 6s, and 2 tier 5s. Same for the enemy team. We were to the right of the windmill.

I took up sniper position because my 88L71 can hit a fly from a mile away and I wanted to stop any flank attack. So I kill one an IS before he can find out where I am because I was in good cover, at this time one of the tier 6s scores a kill, and then he dies half a second later. Within 2 minutes, I'm all alone, with 5 enemy tanks by me. It almost can't be more impossible. Well like I said, I never believe a fight is over. So I typed, "I will fight to the last shell."

As I send that, a critically wounded KV1 appears in front of me. I move my gun about 2 inches, and fire. He blows up.

Ok so it's 1v4. Still nearly impossible, but I can still fight.

Now here comes a critically wounded t-34-85. Another quick shot dispatches him. 1v3, I'm still at full health.

What I didn't realize was, that my team didn't make more than one kill, but they badly damaged most of their vehicles.

So now here comes a half dead T29, the other tier 7 for the enemy. I fire a quick shot into him, and he returns fire, but his shot was fired as he stopped, which lowered his accuracy and caused him to miss. We play this game where he peeks out and fires, while I sit there and fire back. He did some damage, bringing me to about 900/1450 health before I kill him.

1v2. So now a T150 shows up and shoots my side. He hurt me, but hit no modules or crew. Lucky me. One shot also killed him.

Down to 1v1, and its a tier 7 vs a tier 5. The tank in question, a T25 Premium. I turn around, having a hunch he might flank me. I was right. He starts blasting my frontal armor, and it's just bouncing off. I ram into him for about 80 of his HP and 14 of my own. I was bulletproof from the front and so I typed in something very snarky.

"Uhhhh dipsh**."

"You sure you wanna do this?"

His only response was to keep shooting. Of course it's doing about as much as a ping pong ball. So I fire 3 shots into him and blow him to smithereens. Battle Over.

Mastery Badge 2nd Class. Kolobanov's Medal, Pool's Medal, Top Gun, and Steel Wall.

I had Premium at the time, so I ended with 1,615XP, and 50,245 Credits.

The most impossible comeback I've ever seen or heard of. That just goes to show ya, I may not be the best, but never count me out, unless I'm dead.


	4. Blooper 1

**Cue the duh-duh dun dun duh duh duh music that usually plays when people run around like idiots.**

Tank E75, gun 128mm, map Dead Rails.

3v1. My comment? "WHY IS IT ALWAYS UP TO ME?!"

Target, T32, FIRE! Target destroyed. T44 in sight. Load the damn gun already. Anytime now... FIRE! Yes! Tied it up.

OW! Stupid IS8!

The IS8 is shooting at me from the hills by the left starting point. This may not be a fast tank, but if I don't get around him, I'm f(Beeeep).

I drive around the hill, and as I come over the top, I'm right next to the IS8, but his gun is pointing the wrong way.

"SURPRISE!" I say.

BANG!

...

...

...

"I deserved that" I hit his freaking tracks. Doing no damage to the critically wounded tank.

The IS8 turns his gun on me, and BANG!

My team was NOT happy, but they were too busy laughing to care.

From that battle onwards, I killed first, THEN I taunted them.

**Short, but it was embarrassing.**


	5. Best Game Ever

This happened just 2 days ago.

I was in my Porche Tiger in a tier 5-7 battle. My team didn't play a big role, so I'll leave them out of it. On the enemy team, there was a T29, a T43, a T49, a Jackson, a Crusader, a Hellcat, and a KV. We were at the Rockfield map.

I had recently deployed a new strategy that I excel at. I would ask which tank my team wanted me to focus on killing, and I go kill them.

After a bit of waiting for an answer, I was told the T29. So I go right to flank around the big hill that the teams were dueling on, including the T29. As I came over the first little divot, there's the Crusader. In the open. With meager armor. Since he spotted me, I had to dispose of it to complete my job. 5 shots later, BOOM! Well of course he shot back, but it bounced off like a BB gun.

So I continue, and as I pass the area where the base lies, BANG!

'We've lost a track!'

There's the Hellcat shooting me. I use my Gear Icon to fix the tracks. I face him, and shoot back. I kill him in a few shots, and he did some 400 damage to my lower plate, but nothing serious.

Finally I get to the area where I can climb the hill. Up and up I go, and then as I peek out of cover, the KV gets in my way. He starts trying to kill me. Yeah it didn't go well for him.

A couple shots later, he dead.

Then I take aim at the T29, who also aims at me.

We trade shots, but ultimately my heavy armor blocked more shots than his, which did nothing for him, and he died. Well now I hear an explosion, and I look at the score.

6 to 4. Well s***.

So not only am I outnumbered, I look at m health. 400. That's not a lot against three tanks.

I go behind the building that is on the hill by our spawn, and here comes the Jackson, with 214 health.

I aim at him and before he can even stop moving. BANG!

One down, 2 to go.

So now me and the T43, which has 227 health, start playing a game where he tries to juke around the building to get a shot, without being shot.

This goes on until there is only 1:39 left, then the T49 arrives.

Now I don't know if he was worried that the T49 would steal 'his kill' or if the extra tank gave him confidence, but he broke his cover, and one shot later, he's gone.

2 down, 1 to go, and he only has 600 health to my 400, which considering my armor and gun, is a big advantage to me.

Well he manages to hit my side, and takes about 150 HP away. About this time, he runs into a rock, stopping his attempt to 'Circle of Death' me. Bang! 200 health gone.

Plink! No damage taken.

Bang! 215 health gone.

Plink! No damage.

At this point, he tries to get around to my right again, but he's going way to slow because I hit his engine.

I realize I'm going to win, so while my shell was reloading I typed, "Oorah"

BANG!

'Vehicle Destroyed!'

One of my teammates who stuck around, he is now my friend, typed, "Nice Tiger!"

Battle Result

Mastery Badge: Ace Tanker

Rasenai Heros' Medal

Kolobanov's Medal

Steel Wall

Top Gun

On my five thousand five hundred and eighty fifth battle, I got my second Rasenai Heros' Medal, and I did it in a different version of the Tiger 1, which is the one I earned my first one in.


	6. Tanks for the Laughs

**Ok so I recently fought my 6000th game, and just before that, and since, I have seen a cluster of absolute stupidity. You'll see what I'm talking about.**

Ok so I'm in the Ferdinand in a tier 9 game on the new map. It's the one that is basically a big city. Normally when I see that I rub my hands with glee because this map is heavy friendly, but I'm in a TD, and this map has lots of cover and lots of sniper spots, but not many sniper spots with cover. Now I had an utterly crap game. I damaged maybe 2 tanks and killed nothing. So we end up 6-1. I'm debating just heading to garage. All we have is a Pershing in the water with low health, but I decide to stay, and I capture an absolute fail moment.

So the Pershing is in the river, and an IS8 with over 500 HP drives up next to him to shoot. One problem… the IS8 gets waterlogged and can't shoot. 10 seconds later…

(Insert name here) (IS8) Destroyed.

Ok… that was pretty funny, but that's not it.

Here comes an Object 706 with over 600 HP.

He drives to the right of the Pershing, gets waterlogged, can't fire, and, you guessed it. Drowned.

For about 30 seconds everyone just stopped moving completely. Everyone, even the IS8 are just too busy laughing. These guys are tier 9s, and they both drown themselves. What are they doing? How are they in tier 9s? Rookies make mistakes like that. So finally everyone recovers, and bang, Pershing dead.

If that wasn't bad enough, somehow, with teamkilling not available, the enemy T29 managed to get a score of -1. What was most embarrassing is that we lost to these guys. The water killed more enemies than us.

So the very next battle I get into is Middleberg. Tier 8 in my Ferdi. Well, again my game is utter crap, I just had a bad losing streak, but then, I stick around again, and I see our Cromwell, try to ram kill the enemy Ferdi. The Ferdi is some 60+ tons, and the Cromwell is what? 16? And he Rams the Ferdi, does 50 damage, and kills himself. I just can't believe the stupidity I've been seeing. How are these guys in tanks higher than tier 3 if they fight like that?

A few games later, again, Ferdi, tier 9 game, Winter Malinovka I think. We get down to 1 T95 left. Enemy has T95 and T44. Our T95 backs into them corner of the map. The T44 tries to park next to him, and the funniest thing is that this T44 played a great game, and took a beating. He's down to 24 HP. He just TAPS, the T95 and BOOM! The enemy T95 muse be thinking, What the F*** was he thinking?

What is it about Summer that just brings a cluster of stupidity?


	7. Port Derp

Those of you who play World of Tanks Blitz know here has been a new map introduced called Port Bay, or as I like to call it, Port Derp.

I have played maybe 10-15 games on it, and I've seen more tanks drown than I have in my other 7000 games.

Port Bay, Panzer III, tier 4 match.

In Port Bay, there's one spot by one of the spawns with a little hollow in the ground. It's one of the corners and what's so good about the spot is that, once you're in, you probably won't come out.

This was the first time I entered the spot, and I realized I was stuck.

I get spotted from the front, because my turret is showing, and a DW2 drives out from the dirt pile in front of him… and goes straight into the water.

DW2 destroyed.

'Pfffffft.'

Seconds later, a Covenanter drives in front of me, and also goes into the ocean.

Covenanter destroyed.

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHA'

I hadn't shot them once, but my action had caused 2 top tier enemy tanks to die.

Later in the match I tried to exit the spot by driving around the dirt pile, when my tank starts sliding and goes into the water.

Panzer III destroyed.

Everyone in the match typed LOL or ROFL.

This became a fairly common practice for me.

Port Bay, Jagdtiger, tier 10.

I drive into he spot again, and this is the perfect spot for this vehicle. Only my 250mm citadel is showing.

Before I get spotted, I lose 3 teammates, and when an IS3 spots me, I shoot where I know the Ammo Rack is, and it explodes.

'BULLSEYE'

Then an M48 Patton drives in front of me the same way the other tanks did.

I imagine his thought process was something like this.

"Don't worry guys I've got him. Haha his ass is mi oh shit where's the brakes?"

M48 Patton destroyed.

His team must've been wondering, 'What, the fuck was that?'

He was full health too.

Eventually, I was the only one alive, and a T44 drove into the hollow the same way I did, giving him access to my thin side armor.

I soon died, but that Patton, I just don't know.

How can you be that stupid, and be driving a tier 10?

Port Bay, Tiger P, tier 9.

I go back into my spot, and while I can see enemy tanks, I just can't get my gun low enough to shoot them.

I see that a teammate has spotted a T44 and T54 flanking us as we all went left.

I turn my tank 45 degrees to the right, just as the T44 drives into the hollow and Rams into me.

I activate Adrenaline and start blasting holes in his armor. He's damaging me too, but some of his shots are bouncing. Mine are not.

Tiger P - T44

2 seconds later, the T54 does the same thing, and Rams into me just to the left of the dead T44.

In this spot, he can only shoot my well angled front plate, and it's bouncing off like a ping pong ball.

Some of my shots bounce as well, but even if I die, he can't get out.

Before I die, one of my teammates finish him off, and Port Derp claims another 2 victims.

If anyone who works for Wargamming sees this for some reason, thank you so much for this map! I LOVE IT!


	8. Heartbreaker

So I just got the JAGd panzER e iOO, or Jager00 as I call it. Literally a few hours ago. And I just had one of the most heartbreaking games ever. Not in the sense that we lost, but in the sense that we didn't.

Well what's the difference Raptor?

Im glad you asked.

Obviously it's a tier X game, I'm in a tier X tank destroyer.

it was on Fort Despair.

Welll I go up to those little sniper spots that cover the middle of the map.

I hit a conqueror twice, and penetrate twice, so he's hurtin, and one of my teammates kills him.

At this point, an E50 comes around. Before he can get behind me, I back up and go to cut him off.

He comes in, with his gun facing the wrong way.

He slams into a wall, and just sits there for a bit.

Umm, ok.

I take a chance and switch to High Explosives, and I pen his side for 1300HP.

Suddenly he starts moving. He tries to circle me and fires a shot that misses by a mile.

I think he was having some lag problems personally.

Anyways I kill him, and now it's me and an ST1, vs 4 enemy tanks.

Awesome.

So a t54 comes around and tries to circle me. I pop him one and start hitting the SOS button going, 'STALIN! HELP!'

He manages to dispatch one tank, and he comes over, blows the tracks of the t54 off, and I kill him, then BANG, the ST dies.

I round the corner to see a VK45.02A, and an E75, both are at VERY low health.

I can't get a stable shot at E75, and so I blast the VK with HE to ensure a kill because it is slopped armor and has a chance of bouncing.

So the VK dies and now it's me and the E75.

He's on one side of the building, I'm on the other.

Yeah you know where this is going don't ya?

I type 'Oh sh** not one of these'

So I round the bend, he shoots at me, bounces, and I had kept the HE loaded because it's a 170mm gun, the splash range is pretty good.

He has about 100 health left and as he vanishes from my line of fire I shoot anyways.

He's now at 45 HP.

You've got to be kidding me.

Now I'm at 495 HP, and he has the 128. If he pens, he can kill me, but not a guarantee.

So we continue doing this for what must've been 90 seconds, and neither team can believe what they're watching.

At one point I get frustrated and say, "GAAAAH FUCK THIS!"

Everyone was laughing and just in utter disbelief.

To put this into perspective, imagine a game of cat and mouse.

Now imagine a game of cat and mouse, where the cat only has 3 legs, and the mouse has bad arthritis.

Yeah. That's what it felt like.

So I try to hit him, he fires, pens, leaves me on less than 70 HP, and blows my tracks off. I use the Repair Kit and fire, but he is not in the splash radius anymore.

20 seconds left. By the time I reload the game will be over, so I decide to type a message.

Both teams are still in disbelief by the way.

'Well played E75'

To my surprise, he responds with, 'Same to you.'

3 kills, some 4500 damage dealt, draw.

I spoke with that E75 driver and he was laughing as much as I was about it.

That driver's name is Lightning1123.

If you want, go talk to him and ask him how he felt about the game of cat and mouse with Shiron in the Jager00.

He's a very nice guy and we both were just shocked by what we had to endure.


	9. The Joys of HE

As you all know, World of Tanks Blitz offers most vehicles 3 kinds of ammo. AP, HE, and either APCR or HEAT.

AP is the most commonly used because it offered a great balance of firepower, cost, and penetration. However, in certain circumstances, HE will outperform AP and the Premium ammo.

I discovered this in my Jager00.

I was fighting in one of my first games in the Jager00, and there's a T95 in front of me. The kicker, he's facing away from me. I have the back of his tank straight on. I take aim and prepare to fire AP into him, but I stop and think.

His rear armor is only 51mm thick, and has no slope of any kind.

Hmmmm.

I switch to HE, see that it isn't highlighted yellow, so it should go through.

Bang! 1400 damage and I set him on fire. Not only that, I damaged his Ammo Rack, Engine, and I killed his gunner.

He was not happy with me.

Here's what happened.

The Jager00 may not have the best AP ammo, but it has the most effective HE and HEAT rounds. larger caliber shells have increased penetration on these kinds of ammo. The Jager00's HE has an average pen of 82mm.

Now most American tanks have weak rear armor. All of the T110E tanks have 51mm of Unsloped rear armor, the Patton is no better. However, only use HE on these guys if you have a large caliber gun. Preferably above 105mm.

Everytime I plant HE up someone's tail pipe and do over 1000 damage AND cause all kinds of module and crew damage, the people get irate at me.

Remember that HE has a slash radius, and if it explodes inside the tank, all the moduels and crew in that splash range get hit, they may not take damage, but they get hit, and the Jager00's 170mm gun has a splash radius of over a meter.

Another good use of HE, you may know from the first chapter of this story.

HE can do splash damage through thin walls.

I killed a low health T62 through a thin wall using this, and he was pissed. He accused me of hacking, but after I explained the situation out of the battle, he came to understand.

A third thing HE, particularly high caliber HE can do, is get a double kill.

I was sniping in the Minefield map, and I was almost dead.

Now I see a Panther II, and a T32, both are on less than 200 health. I fire my shot aiming for the Panther II. The shell goes over the T32, hits the Panther, DOESNT penetrate, and explodes outside the tank, causing splash damage to the T32.

Shiron115 Jag. Pz E100 killed (censored) Panther II

Shiron115 Jag. Pz E100 killed (censored) T32

'DOUBLE KILL'

This was my first and only double kill over 7300 battles, sadly, Wargamming removed the Bombadier medal from WOTB, so I never got it.

So if you're using a High Caliber gun, make sure to carry at least 6-10 HE shells. They might come in handy.


	10. Public Enemy Number 1

Tier 2 Game, Panzer II, Rockfield.

So what happens in this game, is basically a tier II getting a Steel Wall Medal.

I drive out by the base, and run into the entire enemy team, who promptly point all their guns at the only thing the can see. Me.

I had enough time to type, 'Oh fuck' before all hell broke loose.

I drive forwards to keep these guys lit up for my team, and unload my gun into a PanzerJagd.

Dirt is flying up behind me, in front of me, to my left, my right, and the hit indicator is going off like crazy, but most of them are Autoloader rounds and simply bounce off my hull.

For 2 minutes I'm throwing the tank around very violently trying to avoid as many hits as possible, but the enemy is finally getting some penetrating hits in.

I'm cursing at this point, the number of shots fired at me was unreal, and I'm screaming at the iPad going in a voice that went really squeaky, "FOR FUCKS SAKE SHOOT THESE SONS OF BITCHES OFF MY TAIL!"

And to their credit, my team did.

I did survive that battle with a mere 103 HP.

Something I realized when looking at the results, I was the only person on my team to take damage. Only one other person on my team got hit, but it did no damage.

I got shot 49 times, with 11 penetrating hits. God knows how many of those Autoloaders missed. If there was a replay feature, I'd count the shots fired, and if it was less than 100 I'd eat my hand.

Basically every shot was fired at me.

Did I really piss someone off, or were these people communicating saying, "Let's all shoot at that Panzer II"


	11. Worst Team Ever

Ok so I'm in the Panzer III in a tier 4 game at Hidden… Village I think it was.

To start my connection cut and I had to reopen the app to get in the game. By the time I do that, we are already losing 2-0.

I'm thinking to myself, it's gonna be one of those games.

Now I've seen some pretty bad teams. I've played on some pretty bad teams, but this took the fucking cake.

I drive into the town, spot a cruiser IV, pump 7 shots into hm and kill him.

By this time the team is now completely dead, just 2:00 in.

'How did those morons manage to die so quickly?'

So I drive back towards our spawn because I see an AFD, away from device, (I devices don't have keyboards) A-20. I blast him 8 times for kill 2.

6-2.

I drive behind the hills and meet an M2 Medium with the stock turret and gun. He's up high and can't hit me. A few shots later he's gone.

3 kills, 6-3.

Then I run into a Marder III. He fires and misses, and I don't let him have another shot as I fire 3 HE into the weak gun case.

4 kills, 6-4.

I look at what's left. 2 M3 Lees, and a T40.

I poke my nose out from cover and get tracked.

I activate Adrenaline and shoot the T40 3 times before he ducks into cover. Then the 2 Lees start shooting. I manage to take one of their health bars down to half before I get overwhelmed.

Awards? 3rd Class Mastery Badge, Sniper, Top Gun.

Defeat.

I did 1636 damage, scored 4 kills, and we lost 7-4. And the 6 tanks on my team did, drumroll please…

215 damage total.

Do I seriously have to do EVERYTHING!

When my team watches these kinds of games and contact me later, they say, 'Well Shiron you could've done x y z.'

You know what, fuck them. There are 7 tanks per team, and I am only 1 tank. There is only so much I can do.

This was just one of those games that makes you want to cry and uninstall the game so you never have a team like that again.


	12. Worst Enemy Team Ever

Now here's the thing about dumb teams. They can be on either side.

Tier 7 match on Rockfield in my JagdPanther.

I drive by the cap and park to the right of it, and the thing about the cap, is that there are some rocks on its flanks that low TDs like the JagdPanther can use as cover, but it only works if you don't get spotted getting to them.

I do get spotted, but I spot an enemy T1 Heavy going around the rock that separates the cap area from the middle. Now he knows I'm here, but he sticks his nose out to shoot at me, and we both shoot.

He's in a tier 5 and does minor damage. I'm using the long 88 and do some 200+ damage, and I damage his ammo, and he doesn't fix it. He also gets hit by another tank. So now he's at half health and he backs up behind the rock. Then he starts to move up again, thinking that maybe this time will be different, but a teammate shoots him again putting him at about 150HP, and he thinks that maybe it wasn't a good idea.

So now I can't see any targets, and this is where snipers differ from campers.

A camper would've continued to sit in that spot, but a sniper like me, sees there is nothing to shoot at, and moves.

I back up to where the rock to the back of the cap circle presents a gap between the other 2, and a T-34 with 213HP drives through the gap before I can turn around. So when I do turn around, I expect him to run away.

Nope. He's an idiot. He's not gonna do the smart thing. He's gonna back up into the gap and try and shoot me.

BANG! He's dead.

I drive into the cap circle because I'm taking some hits. I'm at half health now.

Now another tank drives into the gap that creates the lane from the hill to the cap. For the life of me I can't remember what tank it was. It wasn't the T1 Heavy, but I just can't remember.

Long story short he parks and starts to get a bead on me, BANG! He's dead.

Now a T29 emerges from behind the rock just left of the dead tank. And he's almost full health. He points his gun at me, and I'm a 2 shot kill.

Then he turns his gun away, and just leaves me alone. He points at something else, but he never fires.

I activate Adrenaline and start unloading into him. By the time he thinks, I should probably kill that JagdPanther, he's at 200HP. He hits me once, puts me at just 256HP, and BANG! He's dead. 3 kills.

I back up again, because I'm very low on health, and there's a KV-3 on that hill by the enemy spawn. I think, I'm not taking that risk.

Now I take a hit, but it only damages my tracks.

I look between the gap to my left, and there's an M4A3E8. And with Adrenaline still going, a Gun Rammer, and Improved Ventilation, I'm shooting some 15 rounds a minute. He pens with his next shot, but he doesn't get another before I rip him apart.

4 kills.

Now an M6 tries to get shots into a teammate, but he pokes out a bit too far and I have a shot.

BANG! BANG! He backs up, but not quite enough. I can still see the top of his turret. BANG!

5 kills.

I say, 'How stupid are you guys?' 'If driving in front of me…' 'Didn't work the first time…' 'Why would it work…' 'The next 4 times?'

So now the KV-3 is the only one alive.

I drive up and over a little ridge line, plant 2 into him, for my 6th kill.

Top Gun, Pool's Medal, Sniper, Mastery Badge Ace Tanker.


	13. Winter Malinovka

**Warning, obscenities.**

So I was thinking today and I thought I'd talk about the best map in the game.

Then I thought, 'No I'll talk about the worst instead.'

Winter Malinovka.

One cannot begin to comprehend how much I hate this map. It's not that I don't have good games on it, because I'm on of my last chapters I won 5v1 in my Tiger P, but it's just that when you play Winter Malinovka, you're not playing World of Tanks Blitz. You're playing World of Retarded Conformists.

The main problem with Malinovka is that, you know where and what's going to happen, because the team all says. 'MILL MILL MILL MILL MILL!'

let me tell you how the typical Malinovka battle goes.

6 tanks, I'm the exception, go to the windmill, find 3-7 enemy tanks, shit themselves, start camping the corner because obviously despite the fact that they typically have a numbers advantage, they refuse to risk taking a single hit trying to advance, because if they do, they won't be at the precious fucking windmill anymore. So they camp the corner, and start dying one by one, then they scream at me for not coming up to die with them, and saying, and I'm quoting someone here, 'Go to the fucking windmill you noob pussy.'

Um, excuse me. There were 6 of our tanks there, and you guys got slaughtered by 4. I'm trying to find the other 3 so you don't get flanked and ass raped, but no, somehow it's my fault that they can't kill 4 tanks with 6. I hate that map so much, that now, when I see it in the loading screen, I got back to the garage because I'm sick of being blamed for the incompetence of my team by being killed by a lesser number of tanks. There have been 4 times when the entire enemy team has gone to the valley, and I'm the only one there holding them off. My team gets to the mill, discovers there are no tanks there, and start camping it because if they leave even for a second, they will lose the game because they're not at the windmill. So I get overwhelmed in 1:30 seconds, and less than 2 minutes later, my whole team is dead. And despite the fact that I died with more than half the game to go, I am top of the team.

I will never play another game on Winter Malinovka, ever.


	14. Trigger Happy

So it's a tier 4 match on Fort Despair and I'm in my beloved Panzer III. I type, 'This is gonna hurt you… WAY more than me.' Little did I know how right I was gonna be.

I drive left, go around the cap circle, and charge their spawn. I see a Panzer III, and a Pz S35. I go behind that little ridge and start blasting the S35. I kill him and then the enemy Panzer III tries to take me on. I set him on fire and damage his ammo rack, so he didn't last long.

2 kills. I drive forwards and see a Covenanter, who's pointing his gun at someone else.

Well it would be rude not to shoot him.

BANG BANG BANG!

3 kills.

Next is a Marder II. I ram him and put 2 into him.

4 kills.

Then a SU76 tries to get away.

Trying to outrun a Panzer III? You may as well be trying to cure cancer. It won't happen.

BANG BANG!

5 kills.

Next is a low HP Matilda just in front of our spawn. I load APCR and put one into him for kill 6.

I then drive around the sniper spots and put 2 into an M3 Lee for kill 7.

Only the first 2 tanks ever shot me, as I just started killing everything.

Results?

Sniper, Scout, Mastery Badge Ace Tanker, Top Gun, and the coveted Rasaeni's Heros medal.

1600 damage dealt.

Yeah that'll do.


	15. Up Down and Up

So this just happened today. I was using my Tiger P and I saw the words, Winter Malinovka.

Ugh.

Then I saw the teams. Each team had one tier 7, the rest were 6 and 5.

How bad could it be?

The answer is VERY BAD!

I drive right to the windmill because that's where tanks go to die, and it would give me more targets.

Then 3 tanks attack our spawn, where the rest of my team is, and a Comet, a T34-85, and a Su100 manage to kill all 6 of my teammates, at the cost of a Comet.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

So I see a Sherman and start shooting.

After 3 hits he's at 43 HP and drives by the base for cover.

The counter starts to rise and the dead Comet says, 'No cap, we got this.'

He wasn't going to cap anyways, but remember that Comet, he plays an important part later.

So it's at this point a Premium Churchill III starts hitting my side. I face him, activate Adrenaline and start hammering him.

To keep the M4 pinned after every shot I slightly turn my turret in his direction.

I kill the Churchill and the Sherman finally grows a pair, only to die the next shot.

Here comes the T34-85. His first shot misses and I turn around to face him. He puts one in my Commander's Cupola and 2 quick shots from me makes him a one shot. Then, (References) plot twist, a Wild Su100 appears. He fires and misses, and he's on low HP so I turn the gun and end him.

3 kills. 1v3.

The T34-85 tries juking around the building, and the Comet tells him to flank me as I drive around the buidling to catch him.

Just before he gets behind the building, BANG!

4 kills. 1v2.

Now I'm on low HP, so I drive into the base to start capping.

But remember that Comet?

'Theyre AFK'

'Where'

'Spawn 2… I'm only telling you this… because you played well.'

'Danke'

So I pull into Spawn 2 and there's a Panzer III/IV and a Sherman Jumbo. So I just finish them for my 5th and 6th kill.

In a game where it was 1v6, I pulled out a win. Yes 2 were afd, but luck is a factor.

So I got the Pool's Medal, Top Gun, Sniper, Steel Wall, Kolobanov's Medal, (I should've got 2 because it's normally 1v3 for one. I did double that.) and Mastery Badge Ace Tanker.

Now here's the kicker. I had a mission for 95 Gold called Art of War VII. Where I had to get an Ace Tanker for a tier VII tank. I had that mission for days, and I finally got it on the worst map in the game.

I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.


	16. Lucky Bastard

So I just bought the E50, good tank, but until I upgrade the gun, it'll be a tough grind. I find myself in a tier X match on Middleberg, but this match is not about me. It's about one lucky guy in a Jager00. His name is junior87.

So me and this Jager00 drive to the spot I was at in the first chapter, but I don't go into that spot because I don't have the armor for it.

So I'm popping out of cover and shooting at the E100, Jager00, and Kv4 on the enemy team, when I notice OUR Jager00 on less than 700HP, and the enemy Jager00 is pulling up to fire.

Im not having that.

I drive in front of our Jager0 before the enemy's can fire. He points his gun at me and puts on dead center into my side. Lucky it didn't blow my ammo rack because the bigger the gun, the better chance of damaging or destroying moduels. IT leaves me on 68HP, but I kept our biggest tank in the game longer.

So junior fires a shot, and starts pulling back into cover when the E100 pulls up to shoot, and I took a hit from him earlier, and the HISS that the bullet Meade, tells me he has HEAT loaded. So if he fires and hits, which he will because he has 20 seconds before junior can fire again, he will likely kill him.

He points his gun at junior, but then he decides that a stock E50 with 68 HP is a better target than a fucking Jager00. So he kills me.

BANG, junior kills him the second he reloads.

So now the ENEMY Jager00 has reloaded and is aiming at junior to kill him.

I figure he's done for now.

(Insert name here) JagdPanther II killed (Insert name here) JagdPanzer E100.

How is this guy not dead.

Oh he's got a T54 on his flank. Surely now he's dead.

PLINK.

Bounced.

BANG!

200 HP.

BANG!

200 HP.

BANG!

200 HP. One more shot and he's dead.

CRASH!

Out of nowhere, our IS7 Rams the T54 at full speed and plants a shot in him. Finishing the damaged T54.

No. No. He's really not. He's really not doomed.

So let's recap his string of luck.

The only player on his team who would willingly take a hit from a 170mm gun to save him is the one tank that is with him, IE me, the enemy E100 decides his HEAT is better spent on a low Health E50 than a Jager00 on 600+ HP, the JagdPanther II on our team saves him a fraction of a second before the enemy Jager00 killed him, he bounced one from a T54 from the side, and an IS7 rammed, shot, and killed the T54 a second before he died.

Can I have that kind of luck please? I could really use it.


	17. The Croner of Certain Death

This is a short one, because the story picture is changing to a screenshot of the end result.

I was back at Port Derp in my Jager00, and I went to the spot I was talking about earlier. I decided to call it The Corner of Certain Death, because unless the enemy team captures, somebody HAS to die there.

So I told the team I was gonna do something that if it fails it's annoying, but if it works it's hilarious.

The team sucked, and it ended up 6v1.

The Independence T34 was spotting me, but he played smart and left me alone.

I get my tank to face the right as a T32 comes down.

BANG! He's dead. Seconds later, here comes a T62, reload, BANG! He's dead.

I turn my gun to the left to get back into position, and I see an M48 Patton and an ISU 152 both sliding off the pier and into the water.

'Bye guys'

The 2 of them were probably screaming in anger.

Check the screenshot of after an E75 hit my side while I was trying to get the T34.


	18. There's Hope, No There Isn't

Ok so it's Mines and it's a tier IX game. I'm in the piece of shit VK45.02B. It ended up being me vs three. One full health Panther, one full health Tiger P, and a one shot IS-6.

I start driving up to the hill because I can see the IS-6 but he backs off.

Now I knew that the Panther was sniping from that little island to the right, so I'm backing up to start going that way so that he doesn't surprise me and shit there he is. That's it I'm done for even if his first shot doesn't finish me he will reload long before I can WHOAH AMMO RACK BABY!

'BULLSEYE'

Ok now this is doable. If I can kill that IS-6 the Tiger P won't stand a chance.

Ok the Tiger P is right in front of me. Put a shot into him and back up back up because the IS-6 will probably try and oh fuck he's going down the cliff I have to aim at him now.

Plink.

Bounced one from the Tiger P.

Almost loaded and

"We're done for! GET OUT!"

Are you serious? A Tiger P just put a standard shell through my 170mm of sloped armor?

The line of the shell showed it hit my front hull dead center and penetrated.

That 170mm of armor is a work of fiction. Do not believe the published stats.


	19. Come And Get Me Suckers

Ok so I'm in my Jagdtiger, just rebought the ol girl, and it's Black Goldville,, a tier 9 match, we start on the side that doesn't have to climb the hill.

Now I went to the sniping spot on the left, but I turn right and went all the way to the corner. From that spot, I can support the people fighting for the hill in front of me, and I'm protected from flanking fire by a steep incline. If they want to get me out of this spot, they either have to kill me, or face me head on, and who would be stupid enough to face a Jagdtiger head on?

So I turn around to support my allies on the hill and I see a T28 on 318 HP.

Ok I'll have him.

Bang!

Score a kill.

Oh hello mister Tiger.

Bang! Bang!

2 kills.

Oh the flank has collapsed, oh well, no problem for me.

I killed another tank but I can't remember what it was.

POP!

What the hell? That was the T95.

What's he doing firing High Explosives?

I look at him. Oooooooooh. He only has the 122 gun.

A Patton tries to route me out, but he has to face me head on, and I'm in the Jagdtiger. It does 4,600 damage per minute without the reload bonus of a Gun Rammer and Improved Vents.

2 shots later and he's gone.

4 kills.

Then the T20 thinks that he will succeed where the Patton failed.

He was wrong.

5 kills.

POP!

Ok that T95 is really pissing me off.

Load APCR.

With some 340mm of penetration, a well aimed shot will easily pen the front of a T95.

So I put one though his hull and it is enough to finish him, but I'm a one shot now.

I drive out of the spot as I see Pershing making a run for it.

'It's just me and you'

I hide behind the logging house because if I face the wrong way I'm fucked.

I load HE because he only has 32 Hp left.

1 minute left.

I have to take this chance.

'I have earned this win'

Some smart ass responds.

'No'

Fine, I'll show them.

I peer out over the base, and I spot the Pershing under the roof of that barn. I can only see half his hull, but with the 128mm PaK L/60, that's plenty.

I fire and blow his tracks off and take off 18 of his HP.

Loading AP.

He fires, and bounces.

He fixes his tracks, but wait to fire again to back behind cover.

Plink!

That costs him.

Bang!

"WE GOT EM!"

'Nice'

'Nice'

'Nice'

'Nice'

Literally each Nice came from a different teammate of mine.

1st Class Mastery Badge, Top Gun, Steel Wall, Spartan, Sniper, Rasenai Heros Medal.

4,500 damage done, earned 70,000 credits for a 45K profit. 20,000 came from a mission that I didn't have. Probably because I earned Rasenai Heros Medal.

So that makes 6 of those medals. Oh yeah I scored a 3rd in my Panzer III. My first at tier 9 too.


	20. Beware of Angry Panzers

So I was playing World of Tanks Blitz today and I was getting teams that were incapable of being helpful. Game after game, and I had to play them in bad tanks.

I had had to use the Vk45.02B because it was double XP and I want to get rid of that thing, and I was in the Valentine AT because I want to try the British TDs, and the tier 2-4 British TDs are shit. They have ok accuracy, so they're not long range snipers, but they have no armor, so you either miss everything, or die trying to get close, and I had enough.

I'll jump into my Panzer III.

I got the new map. Oasis Palms I believe, and it's a tier IV game with only one tier III on my team and 2 on the enemy team.

The tier III, our Valentine AT, says 'f this matchmaking I quit'

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

'Fine. We don't need you anyways.'

So I drive up to that edge of the map with that building that plays wierd sounds when near it. I see a BT-7 going around my team.

No you don't.

I drive over the dune, ram him and shoot him 3 times for my first kill.

Yeah fuck you Ivan.

Oh and there's a Matilda about to try the same thing.

He drives over the dune and aims at me, but I'm in a Panzer III and he's in a Matilda. He's never gonna get that gun on me.

I switch to my APCR and just casually circle him firing shot after shot and kill him.

Sign here for your order of fuck you.

At this point it's me and a T-28 vs a Cruiser IV, an M3 Lee on low HP, and an Alecto.

The T-28 has just gone Afd.

Well fuck him then.

So I drive up and put 3 quick ones into the Lee for my 3rd kill, and the Alecto is capping and it's at 50% right now.

I drive to the corner of the map at full speed, shoot the Cruiser, ram him, and put 3 more into him for kill 4.

'BASE NOW!'

I'm not blind, I can see it.

You know what, I'm not even gonna waste the ammo.

I drive over to the cap at full speed with my speed boost, find the 14 ton Alecto at 150HP and ram him for kill 5.

Fuck you, fuck this team, fuck this map, and fuck this day.

Yeah I lost my temper there.

But hey, 5 kills, 1,700 damage, Top Gun, and Defender.

Beware a pissed of Panzer driver. They're deadly.


	21. The 10K Race

Tier X game, Hidden Village, Jagdtiger.

'5 more kills to 10,000'

It was my 9,994th game, and I had finally managed to get my kill death rate to a 1.00+ after over a year.

Now I drive to that little bush for a sniping spot that is just in front of the spawn, and I wait.

Ok enemy Jagdtiger across the map, no problem for the L60.

3 shots later I get my 1st kill of the game.

T62 attacking my spotters, he needs to die.

I put 2 into him, but he slips away. Keep this in mind, because my 3rd shot bounced off his turret.

There's the T54, now you just hold still.

2 shots later he is also a one shot.

Then an E-100 drives up to the hills.

I have to move in, I can't see my targets.

At this point I get a shot at the enemy IS3 right before I move in. He's at full health and moving towards the base.

Shiron115 (Jagdtiger) :::: Censored (IS3)

'BULLSEYE'

Ammo rack baby!

Oh the E-100 is trying to go around the hill. Well if you're gonna give me your side like that.

Put 4 into him as he ducks away.

NOW, it's time to move in.

I drive over as the last of my spotters die. The T54 drives towards the river, where I'm sitting on the hill on the opposite side waiting for him.

BANG!

Jagdtiger ambush!

3 kills.

I drive through the little river and reach the corner of the map.

I take a hit from the E-100, which only does 400 damage from his 150mm... He's firing High Explosvies.

Well fine if you're gonna be stupid.

BANG!

4 kills.

At this point my last ally dies to an Object 704 who is also on 4 kills.

Gotta kill this guy.

I drive up and conceal myself in the bush on the hill.

Aim, aim.

Fire.

The shot goes over the spawn and hits the Objects.

5 kills.

'10,000 kills!'

But my job isn't done. There's a one shot T62 who just drove behind the dead Object.

There's only 1 minute left.

I see he was heading to my spawn trying to hide.

I have to chase him.

I drive over in that direction, and I'm thinking, "I'm never gonna find him"

I type, 'Coward'

Seconds later the T62 comes into my view range by accident. I turn to try and get a bead on him because he's not sitting still.

10 seconds.

Fire.

Poorly aimed, miss.

No problem, Jagdtiger fires fast.

Lead him and wait for him to cross the path of the fully aimed shot.

4 seconds.

FIRE!

Fully aimed shot with perfect lead, misses by going high.

'FU**!'

Draw.

A heartbreaking draw, but I earned my Carius' Medal 1st Class.

6 games later.

Panzer III, tier 4 game, Oasis Palms.

'10,000th game.'

'Haha you suck.'

I don't reply to the D.W.2 and drive back to the spot I was talking about last game.

I find a Marder II who fires and misses because he's in a Marder.

I chase him down and kill him before he reloads.

Oh hello Matilda.

APCR loaded.

Circle, fire, circle, fire, repeat, repeat. He's dead.

I pull up behind a Lee on the other dune, and put 4 into him for another kill.

And there's the D.W.2.

I drive up and put some into him and he's a 1 shot. I ram him and put him at 4 HP.

One shot later he's dead.

'I suck do I?'

He didn't respond.

So 10,000 kills and 10,000 games played. Those 2 milestones in one day. I think only 2% of players have that many games played/kills. Possibly less.


	22. Buzzer Beater

It's Lost Temple. Tier IV in my Panzer III.

I drive left and when I don't see anyone, I take cover behind a bush and use the .35 accuracy of the gun to snipe whatever I can see.

I score a kill on a Covey and do damage to 4 others, when I start to run out of allies. I drive near their spawn and poke into the village. A Cruiser IV is with me.

The Cruiser seemed to want to lead, so I let him, despite that he had less HP and armor.

BOOM!

T82 got 'im.

It's me vs 4.

I begin to hum to myself.

Just you and me, a shell or 3, and nothing else between me and death's door.

I drive in, go to shoot the T82, but the enemy Cruiser IV, who is a one shot, tries to get around me.

I just calmly turn my turret and fire.

He's gone.

There's a Matilda, a T82, and a T46 left. None of them really pose a threat to me.

I drive into the area with the cap from above and the T82 hits me with HE from his 105, but I'm in a Panzer III, I just shook it off and took just 70 damage.

I unload 2 HE into him and finish him.

POP!

What the hell?

Oh look, the Matilda is a moron, he's using the howitzer. He did about 20 damage. I drive around him shooting my APCR and kill him.

Now it's 1v1. Where is that T46?

'Cap' My dead Cruiser IV teammate tells me.

'Negative'

As I drive too the enemy spawn I type.

'I think I know where he is'

I haven't seen this guy all game, so he probably never connected.

All I have to do is drive around this house and I'll spot him then I'll be a hero and... where is he?

Ooooooh shiiiiiiiiit.

Yup he isn't at the spawn.

I drive back to the cap, but en route I see there's less than 90 seconds. No where near enough time to Cap.

'No time to cap' I type while moving.

I drove my Panzer III off the ledge and took off half my HP and my tracks, but I immediately used my Repair Kit. I drove back to the sniper spot. He ain't there either. 45 seconds left.

I drive through our spawn. Nothing. 20 seconds left. I kick in Engine Boost.

I'm starting to panic. Where the hell is he.

With just 10 seconds left, there he is, at full HP.

He was in the town. He was between a building and one of the towers on the fence.

I fire on the move, I do not have time to aim. It hits and does about 70 damage.

Without thinking twice, I drive into him at 62kmph. I almost kill myself, but he's down to about 100HP.

4 seconds left.

FIRE!

He's at 40HP.

I back up and ram him again with 2 seconds left. He's at 20HP.

1 second left.

FIRE!

'WE GOT 'EM!'

Shit that was close.

If I was in any other tier IV I would've lost that game. The Panzer III is the only tank fast enough and tough enough to have withstood the abuse I put it through.

I was the hero, but I almost threw the game. I made a bad call, and I very nearly paid for it.


	23. Instant Karma

So I recently rebought my Jager00, and I still love it. That gun is fantastic, and this is an example of why.

Tier X game, obviously, I'm in a tier X tank destroyer, on Fort Despair.

The enemy has 4 medium tanks, a T-62, T-54, T-44, and an Object 140. I go right to the cap because I know they will be there and I need to guard that spot. I go to the bushes on the left side where TDs usually sit, and let my Camo Net activate. Just 5 seconds later 1 spot the 2 tier X mediums. The T-62 and Object 140. The T62 is driving right and it will be hard to hit him even though I'm not spotted yet. The Object on the other hand, is driving right for me.

I aim and fire.

'It bounced off.'

What?

"Haha, nice miss noob."

I back into cover, lucky the Object taunted me instead of circling me. Of course I'm now spotted, but no one shoots me. I look at the map, and see I'm not alone.

"How did a shot of any caliber... bounce off an Object 140"

"Lol. This game is bs"

I load and pull up to shoot the Object again. As I fire the enemy T44 drives in front of me and loses 60% of his health.

Ok if you're gonna make it that easy.

I back up and reload again.

I pull up a bit when I see the Object, still on full HP, about to pull into a position to shoot.

I aim where I think he'll be and wait.

He's gonna expose his side armor, and you all know what is in the side of Soviet mediums.

Yeah you know what's coming.

He pulls into line of site and stops to aim.

CHRNG! I fire.

Jg. Pz. E100 (Shiron115) = Object 140 (Insert name here)

AMMO RACK BABY!

"How was that shot?"

"Lol this game is bs"

Instant Karma.


	24. Blitzkrieg Incarnate

It's a tier IV game on Port Bay, in in Elise, my beloved Panzer III.

'This tank is Blitzkrieg... incarnate.'

I drive into the town after seeing one of the brick walls on the other side break, we were on the side with the hill that TDs favor. I see nothing, but soon I spot a D.W.2 on the other side of the wall to my left. He's in an alley way so I can take him without being hit by other tanks. I drive up on his side and fire. He doesn't react. He's disconnected.

He may have disconnected, but he is spotting me and he may reconnect at any time. I put another into his side and damage his ammo rack. Our other Panzer III puts one into his rear, putting him at about half health. I fire into the same spot and boom. Ammo racked. There's no time to celebrate. We are already down 3-1.

I take a hit from a Valentine AT who feels gutsy enough to challenge me. I back up to draw him in then reappear on the other side of the building. He manages to turn around and shoot me again, but it bounces and I finish him with the help of the friendly Panzer III.

Now it's 4-2. We are losing.

My next target was a Su-76 on half HP.

Me and my ally engage him simultaneously. He fires, I fire, and now he's a one shot. I figure my ally will reload first, but nope. He must not have had the reload bonuses like the Gun Rammer and Improved Vents.

4-3.

Down comes the enemy Panzer III.

We have similar HP, but I'm a better Panzer III driver than he is. I take him out and tie up the game. For 3 seconds.

5-4. Top Gun.

I spot a T-46 with just 110 HP as my remaining ally, the Panzer III chases after the M3 Lee and Panzer IV D.

I kill the T-46 before he gets to shoot me. I'm now in the cap circle facing our spawn.

5-5.

Scratch that, 6-5. I'm alone.

The M3 Lee is an easier kill because he doesn't have a turret, but he's driving towards me and the IV D is on the other side of the alley.

I attack the IV D head on. He hits me and puts me at 117 HP. I can't afford to be hit again.

This part is why I love the Panzer III. The Panzer IV D is not a slow tank by any means, but the Panzer III is faster and turns quicker. I am able to circle him until I kill him, seconds before he shoots me.

6-6. There's a Raseiniai Heros Medal on the line.

The M3 Lee finally rounds the bend on the side I entered from, but I charge him and juke left before he can get his gun on me. I'm now circling him, and he doesn't have a turret. I calmly finish him off form my 9th Raseiniai Heros Medal. My 6th with Elise.

In a tier IV game with only 4 enemy tier IV tanks, I do 2,185 damage. My gun must've been melting by the end of that battle.


	25. Killing a Fan

So I'm in the mighty Jager00 on, ah, Winter Malinovka.

FUCK!

Our Fv183 seemed a bit peeved that the other team had an extra tier X. He open chats, 'MM just doesn't want me to win'

I reply, 'Yeah this map is shit'

The enemy Panther II, named pershingtank123, replies.

'At least you're in a tier X.'

'At least you're fast and don't take… 18 seconds to load.'

'Shiron115, you write fanfic?'

'Why'

'I read your WoT one.'

Wait what? Did I just read that right? Yeah I think I did.

'FINALLY I get noticed'

I really don't remember what I was doing up until what happened next, but this part sticks out in my mind.

Jg. Pz E100 (Shiron115) Panther II (pershingtank123)

Yep, the first fan to find me in game, and I kill them.

'Sorry bud'

'No prob'

'I know what the next chapter will be… killing my fans.'

'LOL'

So pershingtank123, shoutout to you as you were the first person who recognized me from my Fanfic. I look forward to more games with you.

Oh and good news. On World of Tanks Blitz Stars, my WN8, it's a measure of your skill as a player, has gone up to "Great" next up, Unicom. The elite of Blitz.

I've decided to add something to this story. Since I'm getting a video camera for Christmas, I'll be posting World of Tanks Blitz videos soon, and I plan to do vehicle reviews, fail games, epic wins, all that shit. So if you want me to talk about a tank when I get my channel set up, just tell me here.


	26. Crushed

Ok so I'm on the new map in my Jager00, and I'm on the bridge in the center. We're losing and we are going to lose, but I have a chance to do something hysterical.

There's a T110E3 on the bridge with me, and he's very close to the edge.

I fire a HEAT round into him, that armor is annoying, and drive into him. My engine by far out-muscles his, and he's sliding backwards.

Off you go.

He falls off the bridge, and takes several hundred HP of damage, leaving him at around 130.

GERONIMO!

BANG!

Crushed!

"You jerk."

Ok yeah Shiron that was pretty funny, but worthy of a chapter?

Oh no. That wasn't THE funny. It was funny, but it wasn't THE funny.

What are you talking about Shiron?

Just wait.

Very next game...

Castilia, and the T110E3 from last game is on the enemy team.

I don't remember his full name, but it contained the word Racer.

"Hey Racer..."

"Hey..."

"meet me on top of the hill... and I'll push you off."

"Stay away from me!"

So I drive around the hill, and guess who is on the bridge in front of me.

Here I come.

He's backing up and I know I'm in a slow TD, but it's faster than an E3 backing up.

I hit him and start pushing him towards the water.

"NO!"

He fired a HEAT round and finishes me.

"Thank god"

"I was gonna push you in the water."

"I know."

Haha. I terrified the poor guy. He must've been traumatized by a 134 ton German TD crushing him.


	27. Youtube Plans

So since Blitz just released the Japanese Tech Tree along with 13 Light/Medium tanks, the first video of the Blitz series on my Channel will be a review of the Japanese Tanks, along with some gameplay of the ones I own. If the other mediums are like the tier IV version, I need some time to memorize the names, I think I'll like them a lot. Lots and lots of penetration with bad armor. Just letting you know what my plan is. So keep an eye open.


	28. Sniper, Brawler, Spotter

So it's a tier X game on Copperfield. I'm starting on the side that don't climb the hill. I'm in my Leopard PT A. Now I go up to the spot on my right that I was in with my Jagdtiger when I got my 7 kill game with it. The Centurion 1 on my team was, a little pissed that such a fast tank was sniping, but that's what my tank is for.

I set up on the farthest spot, and aim. There's an E-100. Fire and pen lower plate.

Haven't been spotted. Let's blow his tracks off. Good. He uses a Repair Kit.

Still not spotted.

Blow them off again.

Still not spotted. He fixes them as I reload and when I fire I take his tracks off... again.

Finally my team finished him.

Centurion 1: SOS

He's got a T-62A and a T-44 on him.

Traverse turret left, aim, fire. Blew tracks off T62 before he could get down to the Centi. Centi shoots him, T-62 fixes tracks. My next shot pens and the Centi finishes him.

Centurion 1: SOS

Shoot T-44, and guess what, blew his tracks off.

Centi shoots him, I fire, he's gone. Centurion is safe.

I was tempted to say, 'Good thing I was sniping' but there was bigger fish to fry.

Traverse turret right and ooh, the Jager00. Ok let's do the same thing as I did to the E-100.

Track him. Reload. Track him. Reload and OH SHIT SPOTTED! Rock back and forth in that hollow. He's fired.

Whew. It missed high.

Ok it's time to run.

I check the scores, 4-4, wait 4-5. We are losing. It's me and Centurion vs ISU-152, Jager00, and M-103.

ISU is on the other hill to my left as he missed the Centurion, and I get behind him.

Put one into him, take a hit from the M-103, first time I've been hit so far, and finish the ISU.

Ok 2v2. Where are they?

M-103 spotted heading for their spawn.

I wait by the small house on that ridge by their spawn. Right where the ISU was. Waiting to ambush the M-103 as he is a one shot.

Jager00 spotted by the barn doors to my right. I haven't been spotted, but the Centurion to my left has.

I move down to engage the Jager00, and he's aiming at the Centurion because he was spotted, I wasn't.

Put one into his side for kill 3.

2v1.

And there's the M-103.

He's on top of the hill, but I won't pen with AP from this angle, so I load HE because he only had 26 HP left.

He turns and kills the Centurion, I put one into him, and take off 25HP. He has just 1 HP left. He backs off and now I have to climb the hill to shoot this guy.

Centurion 1: Lep is a noob.

Jagdpanzer E-100: No he's played it perfectly.

Centurion 1: I don't want to win because... of him.

My thoughts: Well fuck you too.

There's the M-103. HE loaded and fire.

Hit his gun mantle and did no damage.

I take a hit, but it's no problem. I have plenty of HP to spare.

HE loaded. Face-hug him. Aim at the front plate, bang. He's dead.

I fired 12 shots, hit 11, and penetrated on 8, the ones that didn't penetrate were the one on the M-103, and re-tracking shots because I wasn't the only one tracking the E-100.

Sniper medal, 3rd Class Mastery Badge, Top Gun.

About 1,400 damage done. Ok well that's ok I guess.

Ah but what about all those tracking shots?

Well it turns out that those shots were good for 2,100 spotting/assistance damage.

The Leopard PT A, what a beast when it isn't seen, and it has a great camo value.


	29. Why Would You Do That?

So I'm in my mighty Maus on Mines. It's a fairly standard game until our E-75 dies, leaving me alone against a T-44 and… I don't remember what else, but it was some form of Soviet tank, but this isn't about that one. It's about this colossal moron in the T-44.

Im in the water near the top right corner of the map, and this T-44 comes charging down the slope leading up to the enemy spawn, and he rams my 190 ton Maus, with his piddly little T-44 weighing about 30 tons.

Why would you do that?

Did absolutely no damage to me because I have a Spall Liner, and nearly kills himself by receiving about 400 damage.

We lost, but get this.

Very next game.

Back in my Maus, this time on Dead Rails.

'Last game some idiot… in a T-44… rammed me… in my Maus.'

Guess what. There's a T-44 on the enemy team. He found it funny because he typed LOL, but what he did next made me laugh.

I'm in the little depression leading into the valley by the map border, and here comes the T-44. I shoot him, do about 450 damage, he shoots, bounces… then he rams me. Does 700 damage to himself, 70 to me.

Again, why would you do that?

Can I have more enemy players like that please?


	30. Channel Up

My Youtube Channel is now up and running! channel/UCxwUE8RD0z136Vfbn9at8eQ

Just delete the space and you can view my first video. Don't forget to post topics for Logan Logic 101!


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